Those around someone who is anxious may find it just as challenging as the individual experiencing the anxiety themselves. It is possible to say anything that unintentionally exacerbates anxiety. Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety Even when our intentions are good. What follows is a list of fifteen things you should never say to someone who is anxious, along with alternatives.
How to Communicate Effectively with Anxious People
Voice Inflection Is Critical
You risk coming across as angry even if you refrain from using some of the following expressions: Another way to express your annoyance is through your body language.
One of the hallmarks of anxiety is a heightened awareness of nonverbal clues. In order to have a meaningful talk about anxiety, you must be in a state of genuine serenity and connection.
How can we discuss anxiety without using derogatory expressions?
A person's anxiety may already be difficult, and certain expressions might make it worse. Here are five common expressions people use to minimize their anxieties:
1. Simply relax.
You cannot tell someone to relax. This statement makes it seem that the anxious individual controls their condition, which is an oversimplification. This could cause the person suffering from anxiety to feel misunderstood because their mood is complicated and unpredictable.
Instead of saying, "Just relax," try, "I'm here for you." I prefer this expression because it allows you to demonstrate your empathy and comprehension without diminishing their emotions. It realizes how worried they are and tries to reassure them.
2. Cool off.
Has anyone tried this successfully? No. Asserting that someone's fear is unfounded by telling them to relax is disrespectful. Since it's not as easy as turning a switch to calm, they may become more frustrated.
To put it simply, they would calm down if given the chance. Instead of saying "Calm down," try saying "Take your time." I prefer this expression because they are able to process their feelings at their own speed and have their experience validated by using this statement.
Read also: 8 Mental Health Issues That Impact Women
3. There is no need for concern.
People would quit fretting if they could. This statement downplays the significance of the person's worries and emotions, which can amplify their anxiety. It is OK to provide targeted comfort if someone confides in you about a particular worry.
So, let's say someone expresses concern about being underdressed for an upcoming function. If you think their clothing is appropriate, you can reassure them. Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety An example of a precise statement that works best is, "I believe your ensemble will work wonderfully."
Never intentionally mislead someone who is worried, because you would ruin their trust if you did. "I care about how you feel" is a more appropriate statement than "Don't worry about it.
" I prefer this expression because sending a message of concern demonstrates that you care about their feelings and are open to hearing them out.
4. All of it is in your mind.
Assuming that anxiety is entirely subjective downplays the significance of the emotional and bodily manifestations of the disorder. Their experience is rendered meaningless. Instead of saying, "It's all in your head," explain that anxiety is difficult.
I prefer this expression because: This statement validates their feelings of anxiousness and demonstrates understanding, which helps them feel less alone.
5. You're reacting too strongly.
This statement is demeaning and unconvincing. The individual may experience heightened anxiety as a result of the perception that their worries are unfounded or exaggerated.
Additionally, it demonstrates that you lack empathy for their hardship.Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety To avoid the phrase "you're overreacting," try saying something like, "It's okay to feel this way.
I prefer this expression because, by validating and reassuring their feelings, this answer can help reduce their worry.
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Avoid making light of someone's worry.
6. It's not very important.
This statement minimizes the gravity of the individual's concern, which can lead them to question the validity of their sensations or believe they are exaggerating.
"I know this matters to you" or "I admire your dedication to this" are better alternatives than "It's not a big deal." I prefer this expression because it demonstrates empathy and respect for their feelings, as well as showing that you care about their priorities.
7. You're overly perceptive.
By making such a claim, you are essentially saying that the person's sentiments don't matter or are overblown. Say something like, "Your feelings make sense," rather than, "You're being too sensitive."
I prefer this expression because, by acknowledging and accepting their feelings, you show that you value and comprehend their point of view and situation.
8. Relax, everything will work out.
Despite its best intentions, this sentence may wind up making their worries seem insignificant. It asserts that the individual's concerns are baseless. Rather than "It'll be fine, don't worry," say something like "We'll work through this together.
" To top it all off, provide a targeted word of comfort. "Our friends care about you and will not think less of you because the dish you're bringing didn't turn out like you'd hoped.
Alternatively, "You're an incredible worker, and you've put your all into this project." I prefer this expression because, by expressing mutual aid and cooperation, these expressions foster camaraderie and comprehension.
Honoring personal space and independence in relation to anxiety?
9. You should let me handle it.
For the sake of the person's mental health, this statement has the potential to damage a person's sense of independence and self-confidence.
Sending the message that you don't trust them to handle the situation exacerbates their anxieties. Instead of saying, "Let me handle it," consider asking, "How can I best support you right now?
I prefer this expression because, instead of forcing a solution on them, this inquiry shows respect for their autonomy by allowing them to choose how they want to receive help.
10. Which is best for you, I know.
It can be domineering and condescending to assume you know best for someone who suffers from anxiety. It doesn't consider their autonomy in making mental health decisions.
Rather than saying, "I know what's best for you," try saying, "You know yourself best." I prefer this expression because this declaration acknowledges their self-awareness and gives them the power to make choices that benefit their health.
Read also: Diazepam Addiction: Signs, Symptoms, & Treatment
If I ask, will you please not give me advice on my anxiety?
If only there was an easy way to alleviate someone else's pain, that would be fantastic. It may appear useful to leap immediately to solutions, but that's not always the case. Let me illustrate this with a few examples:
12. Have you attempted meditation or yoga?
Unless specifically requested, offering suggestions for relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation could give the impression that you don't care about how severe their anxiety is or that you haven't tried anything to help. It also implies that there is a single solution for anxiety.
Actually, there is a lot of nuance and individuality in what people find effective. Instead of asking, "Have you tried yoga or meditation?" I would ask, "Is there anything that helps you when you're feeling anxious?" I favor this approach as it allows individuals to guide the conversation by responding to this inquiry about their coping strategies.
It also recognizes the complexity of effectively managing worry. As a last benefit, it gives individuals the agency to improve their own situation.
13. You must become more resilient.
This statement is both detrimental and useless. Contrary to popular belief, it suggests that the individual is not making sufficient efforts to overcome their worry. Instead of saying, "You need to toughen up," you could say, "I admire your strength in facing anxiety.
"I can see how hard you're working to combat your anxiety" is an alternative. Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety The advantages of these expressions are: They have an optimistic outlook because they recognize their strength and resolve.
Even though they're still nervous, it helps them feel understood and appreciated for what they've done.
When broaching the topic of anxiety, consider the time of day.
14. Can we discuss this later
This statement may make them feel like you're avoiding or dismissing their emotions, even though postponing conversations is sometimes appropriate. When someone asks, "Can we talk about this later?"
You should instead respond, "This conversation is important to me, but I'm not able to give it my full attention right now." Do you think there's a better time?
Then, when no one asks you to, follow up. Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety The benefits: This approach acknowledges that you need a more convenient time to talk about things without ignoring their concerns.
Read also: What Are Some of The Types of Mood Disorders?
15. You're depressing everyone.
This statement minimizes the individual's feelings and treats them as an inconvenience, which can amplify their worry. As opposed to "You're ruining the mood," say something like "I want to understand what you're going through, but I'm not in the right headspace right now.
The benefits: This reaction shows genuine concern and lets the anxious individual know that you will attend to their problem when you are free from distractions.
It keeps invalidation to a minimum. The program also teaches kids to set limits independently.
How Can I Use Empathetic Words to Communicate With Someone Who Is Anxious?
Saying things with empathy can change issues significantly. Consider using phrases such as:
I hate this. There must be something I can do to alleviate this burden.
You show that you understand how difficult the situation is and want to help the anxious person by doing so. Being there for them shows that you understand how difficult it is for them.
To further alleviate feelings of isolation, it highlights the commonality of helplessness in the face of anxiety.
This is not easy. You are aware that I can tell you're trying.
This reinforces your understanding and appreciation for their feelings and efforts. Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety The most anxious individuals may find great relief in the validation it provides.
These expressions foster a friendly and caring environment by conveying a feeling of unity and empathy.
What Can I Do to Get Someone to Open Up About Their Anxiety?
You must ensure that your spouse has a secure environment in which they can express their emotions. Expressions such as:
Thank you for being honest with me.
This term is helpful because it recognizes the bravery required to express emotions, which is particularly important for someone dealing with anxiety.
Expressing gratitude and demonstrating that you are someone others can confide in can go a long way toward opening up dialogue.
Together, we can resolve this.
This remark conveys a spirit of camaraderie and encouragement. It demonstrates your dedication to tackling anxiety head-on with them, creating a united front. This means that they are not alone in their anxiety battle.
I know there's more to you than just your nervousness.
This expression is encouraging and empowering. This demonstrates to the individual that you care about them as a whole, not just their concerns, and provides them with comfort.
Someone suffering from anxiety may find immense solace and validation in the affirmation of their identity and value.
Read also: Stress Rashes and Stress Hives: You Need To Know Everything
Taking Out But
Avoid using the word "but" after any of the above-mentioned positive expressions. Your goodwill has been completely destroyed. Find a technique to express your concerns about the effects of anxiety without being dismissed.
Is it possible to support someone experiencing anxiety?
A significant step in assisting someone with anxiety is knowing what not to say. Your words can shape their journey, so choose them wisely and support them. If we work together, we can make this world a better place for everyone.
Help for those struggling with anxiety
Give your loved one your full support while they seek assistance. For some people, drugs and therapy can change their lives forever. You may struggle to take this step, but having someone to support you can help.
Treatment options for anxiety
Treatment for anxiety can involve medication, exposure therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), or a mix of these methods.
Anxiety is one area where we really enjoy holistic treatment. You can discuss the best course of action with a mental health expert.
Progress and patience
Recovering may not happen in a straight line and may take some time. Take your time, and be understanding of the individual going through it. Give solace when times get tough, and rejoice in the little wins along the way.
Where Can I Find Anxiety Treatment in California, Florida, and the Greater San Francisco Area?
Anxiety can be debilitating at times. There are people who can help you through this. Getting expert assistance can be a lifesaver for anyone dealing with anxiety, whether it's you or a loved one.
Seek professional help if anxiety is substantially impacting everyday life, relationships, and employment for either you or your spouse.
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Selecting the Appropriate Therapist for Anxiety
Finding a trustworthy therapist isn't easy, but it's well worth the trouble. There is no shame in reaching out for help when you're struggling with anxiety. If you need further help, please contact one of our therapists.
FAQ's: Worst Things To Say To Someone With Anxiety
What is the 333 rule for anxiety?
In essence, you have to name three objects with your eyes, three objects with your ears, and three objects with your body. "Essentially, it's a strategy for diverting your focus from your nervousness by focusing on your feelings," explains Aimee Daramus, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at Chicago's Clarity Clinic.
What should I say to someone who's anxious?
- “You are not alone.” Mental illness is common, and your anxious loved ones are not alone.
- “There is no reason to feel ashamed.”
- “It's ok to not be ok.”
- “How can I help?”
- “I support your decision.” (If they need counseling or medication.)
How do you calm someone with anxiety?
Offering assistance in a composed and nonjudgmental manner is essential when someone is experiencing an anxiety attack. It's important to listen, to give space when required, and to refrain from doing anything that might make them feel more anxious.
How do you explain severe anxiety to someone?
Describe your feelings during a panic attack or when you're overcome with anxiety and terror. You may say something like, "Every minute of the day, it seems like something is going to spring out at me," or "It feels like my chest is being crushed by a truck." It's crucial to clarify why you feel that the end is near.
What is the 80/20 rule of anxiety?
The 80/20 rule suggests that around 20% of your stressors account for a large part, or about 80%, of your overall stress and anxiety. These pressures might be anything from relationship problems or health concerns to work pressure and financial anxieties.